It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
