Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
