I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
