A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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