if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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