I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
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