As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
