My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize