It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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