yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
