This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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