I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
