Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Randomize
