I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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