the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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