is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize