Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
