my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
