No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
