so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
