My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
