The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
It's just like the Real World with babies
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
