Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
