Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
