I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize