i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
vagina is talking i cant
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
