i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
