i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
