The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
