I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I have tasted many bathrooms
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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