a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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