I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
