Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
