you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
