i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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