So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
