he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
