Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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