That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
