Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
