Where are you?
In a non slutty way
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
