i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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