we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
