You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
