what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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