I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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