I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
This house was built for laser tag.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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