Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
