Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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