nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
