weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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