she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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