allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
this is an emotional support booty call
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
