take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
