is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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