Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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