Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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