Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
