Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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