Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He called his prostate his "boner button".
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
