I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
