just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
