I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
