So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
