I don't usually arrange sex via text message
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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