wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
