If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
and she was petting her beer can
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
