Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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