it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
