don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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