whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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