'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
