Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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