Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
