i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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